Its emotional, not personal.
A quick thought.
I grew up with the phrase “It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s strictly business.” In part because of my dad’s obsession with The Godfather, but also his mentoring towards business. It is a great way to survive negotiating, sales, and operations in any project.
In short, this phrase tells you that business is not about emotion; it is about wit, control, and understanding the cold, cutthroat energy needed at high levels or really any level.
This phrase made more sense back then, and in a way you can still apply it today. What I realize now is that emotions are playing into everything. Nowadays we are so wired with information, content, and apps that many marketers want you to feel emotion at high levels. To really want that product, that trip, that new camera. To believe you have a relationship with famous people or your favorite influencer. Seriously I had an intense parasocial relationship with Rachel Sennott, then the amazing I Love La show came out and it sort of faded. I guess I hated the fast that now even more people knew her, but Im still a hard core fan, and hope she reached iconic stardom. With social media, everything is emotional, who you hang out with, how you conduct yourself, and what you post. Now, that doesn’t take away from the fact that you must be cold when posting. Take out your insecurities and just post it. So it’s confusing today. On one side it feels highly emotional, and on the other it’s cold AF. So where to land is always the question.
For me lately, I combine these energies. Like a strawberry banana smoothie, I blend these two amazing fruits to create greatness. Seriously, I just need an SB smoothie from D’Lush like back in the day, and I would be happy right now. Writing to you from the airport catching a red eye. I remember hitting Fashion Valley Mall in San Diego when I was younger (11), and that place was lit. There was always hot smoothie baristas setting the vibe. Yes I was ahead of my time.
Combining the emotional with the cold gives me this real, truthful sweet spot. My team seems to be working more productively and more efficiently since. I coach, I lead, and I also nurture. Whoever isn’t at par, well, they get noticed really easily. I used to have more patience, not gonna lie. Lately, my patience is thin. Too much chaos, too much of everything. Thankfully, I have an amazing team, and we work together every day, every week. It’s a tight crew. That is necessary. The tighter you are, the faster friction gets noticed. Don’t just try to automate your workflow, talk to your team, just communicate with emotion, and be cold about it. No need for deep emotion, we are not getting married, signing a lease together or buying a pet. We are working together. We need to connect yes, we need to laugh off course, we need to vibe, but we also need to get to work. Pay our bills and have enough emotional buffering to drink a Negroni on a Monday with no emotional guilt.
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See you at the office,
LUi.